Tuesday, June 19, 2007

5 thoughts that are making me feel better about my day

Because I haven't phoned it in compiled a list in a while, and I know you're all trembling with anticipation.

And also because I had a crappy night; the kids woke up at 12, 1, 2:30, 4, and 5. And an even crappier morning--the pediatrician wants them to go for head x-rays. When I went to the hospital to make an appointment (which the hospital doesn't take; you just have to show up with two screaming infants and wait until they're good and ready for you, never mind your babies' comfort and well-being, or your own life and schedule), I stopped in the chapel to say a little prayer that everything would turn out ok. That was when some dipshit repeatedly said to me, "Excuse me," until I looked up at her. Incidentally, I was not the only one in the chapel, although I was the only one with my eyes closed, my hands clasped, and my head bent in prayer.

What, you ask, did she have to say that was so earth-shattering that she had to talk to me at THAT PRECISE THIRTY-SECOND INTERVAL?

"What's today's date?"

And, now, on with the list:

1. Did you ever notice how you never see pictures of Angelina Jolie's butt? Maybe it's bony!

2. Air conditioning makes the kitchen cooler. Especially after you've just baked chocolate chip cookies instead of returning phone calls.

3. If you don't like mayonnaise, creme fraiche is a fabulous substitute.

4. The older your children get, the sooner they'll be able to take Benadryl.

5. Ice cream contains calcium.


Anonymous wordgirl said...

I hope her ass is riddled with cellulite. It's only fair.

3:39 PM  
Blogger ptg said...

Isn't it from Angelina's butt that her Doctors extract the fat to inject into her lips?

4:50 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Good luck with the x-rays, Arabella.

Also, the older and bigger they get, the more ibuprofen you can give them (if you call the doctor, they'll give you the exact dose based on their weight, which is usually more than it says on the bottle).

12:53 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Hang in there chica. I know how hard that wall feels when you hit it and I also know you are doing a fabulous job.

I prefer to believe that Angelina's ass is filled with cellulite and is too lumpy to be photographed.

6:54 PM  
Blogger V-Grrrl said...

Angelina had to sell her ass to the Devil to get Brad from Jen.

Brad's so enamored with the front of Angelina, he hasn't even noticed the back side (or lack thereof).

8:10 AM  
Blogger V-Grrrl said...


You should have told that woman in the chapel that you'd ask God what time it was and get back to her when he answered.

8:11 AM  
Blogger PEACE said...

I love V-grrl's suggestion! LOL

Or better yet "EXCUSE ME? I was talking to God!"

Hang in there. Any friends or family to help? I remember feeling like a zombie for months. I finally called my mom to come watch my kids so I could sleep. I slept for 24 hours!

Sending good thoughts your way.

9:34 PM  

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