Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Reflections on Marriage

Some of my fellow female bloggers have written wonderfully romantic tributes to their husbands lately. I have really enjoyed reading them.

This month, Ty and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary.

In the early days of a marriage, you try hard to strike the right balance between deference and submission. One moment, you happily bake chocolate chip cookies, and the next, you spy some dirty dishes and ask yourself, "What does it mean for my integrity as a woman if I wash out his coffee mug?" You kiss, you argue, you make love, and you passive-aggressively alter the brightness of the overhead lighting or change the channel on the television when he leaves the room. Often all in the same day. You hide many of your "weird" characteristics from him. You pretend that you only watch The Golden Girls once a day, and that you never eat frosting right out of the can. You maintain the illusion that your legs are naturally fuzz-free, your feet naturally soft, your lips naturally rosy.

In time, your defenses wear down. You cry over something silly and he just gives you a hug. You move the box of tampons to a more convenient--and more visible--location. You establish a household rhythm--he cooks, you wash the recyclables. You learn each others' gaits so well that you stop crashing into each other as you move throughout the kitchen. You turn tedious chores into an opportunity for shared jokes. He learns exactly how you like your tea. He becomes more familiar than ever, yet he never stops surprising you.

Work gets difficult. Emergencies pop up. He hollers for medical assistance when you nearly pass out after a procedure. He holds your hand when you cry in pain. You want, more than anything, to share a baby with him. He is patient and understanding. He strokes your hair.

And, gradually, you learn that a marriage is a family, a love affair, and a small business all rolled into one.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart. It's only been three years and we've already done so much! I can't wait to see where life takes us.


Blogger Katherine said...

Happy Anniversary! Sounds like a great relationship. I've been married 7 years and I can't believe how fast it's going. But, I love him even more now than I did when I we got married.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

What a lovely tribute to your husband; happy anniversary!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Awww, I'm tearing up! That is a very sweet, yet very truthful tribute.

Happy Anniversary to one of my favorite couples.

And thanks for the e-card. :)

12:16 PM  
Blogger ceece said...

what a great tribute. Happy Anniversary!!!

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Dana said...

That was beautiful - so very well said! Happy Anniversary to both of you!

12:25 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

The reality of marriage (done right) is so much better than the fantasy. Happy Anniversary to you!

12:25 PM  
Blogger Alli said...

That was awesome. Happy Anniversary!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Liberty Belle said...

Congratulations on three years of marriage! My husband and I also have an anniversary coming up this Friday...I can hardly believe it's been five years! Who would have ever thought just how wonderful a husband could be? Hurray for great men!

12:57 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

That was wonderful. I never really noticed how we move around the kitchen/bathroom/pop-up camper as if we're dancing. I think the last time we bumped into each other we were trying to (nudge, nudge).

How awesome is the hair stroke from a loved one?

1:02 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

I find it so hard to express what my marriage and my husband means to me.

I'm an old timer here ladies. E and I are halfway through year 25. Marriage goes through so many stages.

What I remember about the first three years of marriage is exactly what you described: it's all about finding your rhythm as a couple and becoming a family.

I won't tell you what happens next. You and Ty will have to discover that on your own.

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

Happy Anniversary from a fellow June bride! Although after 13 years of marriage Chris and I still crash into each other in the kitchen.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Beautiful post. Oooh God, you have me all weepy.

Seriously. What the hell is my problem lately?

Happy Anniversary. Here's to a great future.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Happy Anniversary...

11:11 PM  
Blogger ptg said...

Three years? I could do three years of matrimony standing on my head.

Happy Anniversary!

12:00 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Thanks, everyone!

9:46 AM  
Blogger Tits McGee said...

AW! What a lovey post. Happy Anniversary!

12:54 AM  

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