Reflections on Marriage

Some of my fellow female bloggers have written wonderfully romantic tributes to their husbands lately. I have really enjoyed reading them.

This month, Ty and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary.

In the early days of a marriage, you try hard to strike the right balance between deference and submission. One moment, you happily bake chocolate chip cookies, and the next, you spy some dirty dishes and ask yourself, "What does it mean for my integrity as a woman if I wash out his coffee mug?" You kiss, you argue, you make love, and you passive-aggressively alter the brightness of the overhead lighting or change the channel on the television when he leaves the room. Often all in the same day. You hide many of your "weird" characteristics from him. You pretend that you only watch The Golden Girls once a day, and that you never eat frosting right out of the can. You maintain the illusion that your legs are naturally fuzz-free, your feet naturally soft, your lips naturally rosy.

In time, your defenses wear down. You cry over something silly and he just gives you a hug. You move the box of tampons to a more convenient--and more visible--location. You establish a household rhythm--he cooks, you wash the recyclables. You learn each others' gaits so well that you stop crashing into each other as you move throughout the kitchen. You turn tedious chores into an opportunity for shared jokes. He learns exactly how you like your tea. He becomes more familiar than ever, yet he never stops surprising you.

Work gets difficult. Emergencies pop up. He hollers for medical assistance when you nearly pass out after a procedure. He holds your hand when you cry in pain. You want, more than anything, to share a baby with him. He is patient and understanding. He strokes your hair.

And, gradually, you learn that a marriage is a family, a love affair, and a small business all rolled into one.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart. It's only been three years and we've already done so much! I can't wait to see where life takes us.