Friday, June 09, 2006

I'm With Stupid

Stupid people are really getting to me this week. I know, I know--we're all stupid sometimes--but some people take stupid to a whole new level.

I'm starting a meme--The Stupid Meme.

3 Stupid Things I've Done:

1. Stick my finger in a socket after my mother repeatedly warned me not to (hey, I was a toddler);

2. Consume rum-and-Cokes and boxed wine in close proximity to one another at the same college party;

3. Wear a white dress to a family get-together right around the time my period was due.

3 Stupid Things Other People Have Done That Have Directly Affected Me (i.e., "marry Kevin Federline" is not an option):

1. Get a lot of eggshells in the cupcake batter, don't fish them out, don't tell me about it, and then bake and ice the cupcakes and offer me one under circumstances that require me to act polite while eating said cupcake. It is NOT fun to spit eggshells into a napkin surreptitiously, or to go crunch, crunch, crunch while you eat a baked good.

2. Tell me about your wonderful meal at the Olive Garden, complete with pronunciation of the word "Siciliano" (used dubiously as a modifier to begin with) as "Sisiliano," again, under circumstances that require me to act polite, and try to convince me that I should go, as well, because *I don't know* what I'm missing. I know, I know--I'm a terrible food snob. I DON'T CARE. Some things are worth being snobby about.

1. I was once purchasing a pack of three foil roasting pans, all bound and packaged together, at a grocery store. The cashier rang up the pans three separate times, because, you know, there were three of them. I actually had to argue with her that this was not the proper procedure, and that I was not just attempting to purchase three cheap foil pans for the price of one. And this kind of thing always happens at the end of a bad day, doesn't it?

I'm tagging TB and Mama Tulip. Have a wonderful weekend, everybody!


Anonymous Heidi said...

This is great. I'm going to give it some thought today and perhaps steal your idea!

9:29 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

OK, now I have to do look up the correct pronunciation of Siciliano, a word I've never used or heard!

9:35 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

LOL, I can't wait to do this one! I feel for you on the whole white-dress-wearing thing -- guess where I got my period yesterday morning? IN THE POOL AT THE Y! Good times!!

10:26 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Three stupid things:

*Stuck a penny in a light socket as a kid. (hey!! we're related!)
*Loaned money to a guy who was getting ready to break up with me. He told me he wouldn't pay it back and he didn't.
*Didn't major in library science with a minor in journalism like I should have.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I know this is narrow-minded, but Wordgirl, how many classes can you take on the Dewey Decimal System anyway? I don't think that should be on your stupid list.

Arabella, was it a child that made the cupcakes? What grown person wouldn't fish eggshells out of batter? Sometimes the world's stupidity overwhelms me.

Here's my little dumbass rant:
Look, Sanctimonious Target Worker Guy Who Probably Spends Every Spare Minute of His Existence On-line Gaming and Listening to Tool, I realize I could probably find a round carpet at a rug store, as you so condescendingly pointed out, but I'm actually IN Target right now and looking for a round rug amongst the rugs that Target is selling. See how that works? I go to Target to look for things sold by Target. So please tell me which aisle has rugs. And if I see you make a face at my daughter again as she's having a little meltdown and eating raw sugar, I'm going to shove your Target walkie-talkie up your golfball-sized nostril.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

I am always afraid to pronounce words like Siciliano in the correct way, because I am so not Italian, and I worry that I come off sounding like a poseur or, worse, as if I'm making fun of the pronunciation. Arabella, please calm my fears, although I'd never make you go to the Olive Garden (my husband has an unhealthy affection for it, though, so I do go sometimes).

It sounds like the love affair with Target might be over for Mignon. I hope those two crazy kids work it out - perhaps if large nostril worker gets fired? We can but hope.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Alli said...

The cupcake story has totally happened to me! lol. It was at a birthday party and I kept looking around to see if anyone else was crunching.

OMG-I hate the Olive Garden commercial where the uncle comes over for a visit from Italy and can't wait to go to the Olive Garden. LOL.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

"Siciliano" in this context means "in the style of Sicily" (I had my doubts that the dish was truly, authentically in the style of Sicily). It is pronounced "Si-chill-ee-ah-no," because "ci" in Italian is pronounced "chee."

Please don't think I'm an insufferable snob. I, too, have had my share of all the salad and breadsticks I wanted, thanks to a college boyfriend with a fundamental misunderstanding of my heritage. I'd even go again, AND have fun with it, with the understanding that this is NOT AUTHENTIC ITALIAN FOOD, and that it is not so good that I should renounce the palate that I have cultivated my entire life in favor of overly sweet sauces and suspiciously bland cheeses. The person in question knew of my foodie tendencies and was taking it upon herself to "talk me out of them."

1:25 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Mignon, Sanctimonious Large-Nostril Target Guy is like your boyfriend with a hangover, in a crappy mood. Hang in there, and hopefully it'll pass, and then your boyfriend will go back to being his sweet, nice-design-for-reasonable-prices self, and will treat you to a new non-stick spatula and shower curtain to make up for all the trouble.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Mama Tulip, I am so, so sorry that Aunt Blood showed up there! What a bitch she can be.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

Awesome. As a sister I-Talian, the idea that Olive Garden even counts as ethnic food is laughable to me. All of you are cracking me up today with these comments. Although, Mignon, you know Mrs. H is sensitive about her nostril size.

Thanks for the tag. I'll save this one for tomorrow.

2:11 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Wait a minute. Is Siciliano a word?? And, if it is what would be the proper pronunciation?

Eggshells in cupcakes? Yikes.

5:53 PM  
Blogger ptg said...

I used an old-fashioned hairpin in my electrical outlet incident. I actually got the idea to do it from being warned against it.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I was thinking about that, Teebs - I said golfball-sized as a way to completely stay away from spare-change-sized...

(I'm cheating on Target this weekend with Costco. He's much bigger.)

7:30 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

So, please forgive my ignorance here as I am about as Irish as one can get, but is the word "Sicily" pronounced "Si-chilly"?

Also, do you have a recipe for Spaghetti sauce, either with meat or not, that doesn't contain sugar or (gack) High Fructose Corn Syrup? I've been looking for recipes for YEARS. And the one actual Italian restaurant we have in town won't tell me their recipe!

11:19 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Hi, came here from Mean Girl to the Rescue. You so cracked me up about the Olive Garden. It drives me batshit the way they make up Italian sounding names for their menu items like Chicken Limone. Wha?? ARGH, I want to smack whoever comes up with that crapola.

3:25 PM  

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