Why I spend too much money

Not too long ago, I miraculously finished reading The Complete Tightwad Gazette, by Amy Dacyczyn. I highly recommend it if you're looking for ways to curb your spending. Yes, it's a bit dated, and some of her suggestions are pretty out-there, but I find myself implementing many of her tips and going back to the book again and again for recipes.

However, I find myself unable to become a true "tightwad." This is partially due to my passion for Humboldt Fog, and partially due to mornings like the one I had today.

After I exited through the malfunctioning $70 baby gate to wash the greenish shit (yes, literal shit) off my hands, I turned, suspicious of the sudden quiet. One child had managed to pry open the cap on the tube of generic Desitin--which, by the way, is completely inferior to the original. Why? Because it immediately melts all over your fingers and gets everywhere, while the original stays relatively solid until it is spread on the bumcheeks. The other child had managed to empty the tub of every. single. diaper wipe (approximately $4 per box for the kind that doesn't irritate my children's skin). In the spirit of frugality, I did wad them all up and stuff them back in the box, but of course I'll have two flailing toddlers to control as I try to pull the mashed-up wad out of the box during diaper changes, so they'll probably wind up wreaking some other kind of expensive havoc as I attempt to salvage a twenty-cent wipe. The truly frugal, I know, would make their own diaper wipes, or use a washcloth, but I'd like to know how they have the energy.

Then, I sat down to change the SECOND poopy diaper. You can imagine how well that went.

Amy Dacyczyn did all her frugal exercises while raising SIX children, two of them twins. Apparently, she is made of hardier stock than me. I would like very much to shake her hand. Right after I wash mine. Again.