Tuesday, August 15, 2006

5 People and Things That Can Kiss my Bloated, Nauseated Ass

1. Time Warner Cable--your sucky, competition-free existence is solid proof of why Communism doesn't work. I've dealt with more outrageousness from you than can possibly be documented with my Blogger space allotment.

2. Prenatal vitamins--sure, make us gag and puke MORE. That's the secret of health!

3. Doctors with the bedside manner of a snowman, minus the pebbly smile--'nuff said.

4. People that sell you the most expensive item of furniture you've ever purchased in your life, that you've obsessed about and dreamed about and gone back and forth about and finally decided to buy, only to have rude salespeople tell you, after you've made a four-digit deposit, that they won't begin the manufacturing process until you shell out an extra hundred bucks for the special fabric that you want, and then, after all that, deliver the furniture with the wrong fabric, and THEN, despite THREE (3) separate home visits, still haven't delivered the accompanying table pads that you paid for MONTHS ago, because the TWO (2) separate sets that they've made have been made with the wrong measurements.

5. Paint fumes.


Anonymous mamatulip said...

Oh, honey. The prenatals used to make me sick, too. My OB told me that if they're really wreaking havoc on me during the first trimester it was okay not to take them, but I took them with food at night and that seemed to help. Hang in there, girl...I'm thinking of you every day.

5:56 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Yeah, what mamaT said - my second doctor just suggested I take them. I think the most important part is the folic acid, anyway. Perhaps you could do a folic acid supplement?

AND! Paint fumes?? Why are you smelling them and stop doing it!!! I'm sure it says somewhere in that shitheap What to Expect... that huffing should be suspended until at least the second trimester.

6:20 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Back away from the paint fumes. And yes...those prenatal vitmins are so huge that I nearly needed someone to blow them down my throat with a peashooter. Once...they made me throw up in the sink. Ah...good times.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Re: Number 4. Isn't it hard not to remind people that you're a lawyer and dammit, they're violating your sales contract!!!!

7:34 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

A, I detect some strong emotions in your last two posts? I'm a guy, perhaps you could explain?


10:35 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Sources say you can substitute the horse pills with 2 children's chewables (as long as they contain the recommended daily dose of folate, which I think is 400 mg? Not positive).

11:35 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Mrs. H, you're the best.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Y'all are nice. And I'm not even Southern! I should probably say, "Youse are nice."

Flintstones to the rescue! And fear not about the paint fumes--I escaped them and spent the night at my parents' house, surrounded by fresh air. I didn't think of taking just the folic acid if that's all I can get down--it IS the smallest, and probably the easiest to take.

So, today I puked up a plain vanilla milkshake, and then promptly kept down a garlicky slice of pizza, some steak, and some mashed potatoes. Go figure.

And I saw two tiny newborn twins and cried. In a good way.

Things are looking up.

7:56 PM  
Blogger ptg said...

I get all of my furniture from dumpsters and dead relatives. I bought new furniture only once in my life. It was in Turkey and I paid for several rooms of nice stuff with huge bundles of nearly worthless Lira. Handing over that much cash actually made me ill. I was bedridden in my new bed for days. It wasn't the price; furniture is cheap in Turkey, but it was the sheer bulk of the currency that affected me. Like your vitamins.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Where are you Arabella? Everything OK? I miss you.

5:26 PM  

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