Friday, April 07, 2006

The Kama Sewtra

A few erotic excerpts from my new sewing machine manual (hehe, "manual")...

"equipped with [a] fast bobbin-winding system"

"slide the bobbin winder shaft to the left"

"pass it through the slit in the bobbin winder seat"

"Turn the bobbin clockwise, by hand, until the spring on the shaft slides into the groove of the bobbin"

"Pull up the spool pin as far as possible"

"Gently hold the end of the upper thread in your left hand, and then start sewing"

"Insert a pin at the end of the buttonhole"

"Lower the needle into the fabric"

"Free-arm sewing is convenient for sewing tubular and hard-to-reach areas"

"The thread tension will affect the quality of your stitches"

"Sewing with a bent needle is extremely dangerous"

"Insert the...plug into its jack/socket on the rear side"

(And, last but certainly not least...)

"To turn off the machine, set the main power switch to 'O.'"

Happy Weekend, Everyone!

9 Comments:

Anonymous TB said...

This post had me in stitches. I'm glad I could follow the thread. :o)

Sewing with a bent needle... that sounds painful as well as dangerous!

10:12 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I think I need a cigarette now...and I don't even smoke!

10:43 AM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Is sewing with a bent needle dangerous in a "bunging-jumping without measuring the cord" kind of way, or more of a "licking a frozen flagpole" way? Or just a "you'll mess up the pants you're trying to hem" way? Maybe they should define "dangerous."

11:51 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

Oooh, remind me to pop a seam more often! Have a great weekend girl.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I wish I had an O switch.

2:15 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

LOL.

You perv.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Oh, what Mignon said! I haven't read my sewing machine manual but I sure will now!

I prefer not to have a plug in my rear socket, but that's just me ;)

4:42 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Hehehe! What am I missing by not sewing? Great post!

1:03 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

That's hilarious. And you are obsessed with sex.

10:53 AM  

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