Monday, November 06, 2006

Some antics

My friend Mignon's current post is about a discussion and disagreement she had with some fellow commenters on another blog. She blames the limitations of the Internet. She is in a far more charitable mood than me right now. Then again, she's not currently pregnant. ;)

The discussion and disagreement can be found here. Notice the part where she is criticized for saying that pregnancy "sucks."

My take on the situation is as follows:

When someone else has walked a mile in my suddenly-too-tight shoes, meaning she has been working while on bedrest for a potentially-life-threatening condition that sprang up early in a high-risk twin pregnancy, while also constantly throwing up and not being able to eat, or to consume prescribed prenatal vitamins regularly, resulting in a loss of approximately 5% of her body weight while trying to nourish said twins and get them off to a good start, while also learning to perform her own daily injections of stinging liquid into her own belly fat to treat a different risky condition that could result in a miscarriage, THEN I will be open to a discussion regarding what kind of language is appropriate to describe the situation.

Until then, like-minded women are invited to join me on the naughty girls' side of the room, where we will feel bloated and wear stretchy pants and eat vegetable sushi and complain to each other and offer each other sympathy and drown our sorrows in nonalcoholic cocktails and eat a bit of fudgy chocolate cake in flagrant violation of What to Expect When You're Expecting, and, during our various labors, we will scream and swear like sailors, if we so desire, and then use those same mouths to kiss the tops of our newborn babies' heads. Those that get flustered by these activities are welcome to feel superior, smile during their entire gestations, labor in silence, and then tidy up after us.


Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Hee hee - I like your clever post title.

Needless to say, count me in. I might even eat vegetable sushi to be a part of that group. God knows that even though my pregnancy has been pretty normal thus far, I have had my "fat 'n' ugly" days, just as non-pregnant women are entitled to have them! I don't know who decided it was inappropriate for pregnant "ladies" to swear or dislike being pregnant from time to time, OR to rant on their own blogs about it, but those people fucking suck. There, I said it.

And now, for some fudgy chocolate cake.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Oh yeah...that whole Madonna (not the singer) complex makes women feel that we have to change our personalities because we're pregnant. I think that's ridiculous! Pregnancy can be damned uncomfortable. Smiling and pretending otherwise won't change that.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

I've always felt more at-home in the "naughty girls' side of the room." Being real about reality is always much more fun.

12:39 PM  
Blogger spellconjurer said...

wow, I decided it was time to use an id. I don't blog, too afraid to. I'm the anonymous from here in earlier posts, that you were so kind to. I'm NOT the anonymous from your friends blog. Pregnancy is always worth it at the end. Going through it can be awful though. I'm a champion of weight gain during pregnancy, and a failure at losing it after. That's why I'm one of the large, slow people toddling down the sidewalk! My own fault, I'm sure. Also sure I'd not likely have gained quite as much if not for 3 pregnancies. Well ok maybe it was possible. Who knows! Your children will be the funniest things that ever happened in your life. They will think you are the best thing ever, no matter how your butt/hair/face/thighs look.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Yes, clearly I'm the naughty swearing girl, but really, I wasn't so much disturbed by someone disagreeing with my summary of pregnancy as by my inability to explain why I was right. The point I was making was irrefutable in my mind: the way we all feel is unique and fine, and to be told differently is counter-productive. I think even Crabby Anonymous would've agreed with that, but arguing through a comments thread was completely inadequate.

Although, after reading about your particular Joy of Pregnancy, I may rescind my comment that pregnancy sucks. Yours makes mine look like a day at the spa...

2:22 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Pfft. Anon sucks. My Mom, mother of three (also one of the most witty, smart, and lady-like women I've ever known) used to say, "We're adults. We've EARNED the right to cuss." If Anon's virgin ears can't handle the word "sucks" which is NOT a cuss word, he/she really has no business on the blogosphere... Or anywhere else where people speak for that matter. I hope to God he/she doesn't have kids, or work in a job that deals with kids. Namely teenagers. His/Her head might explode.

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting points from both sides. Unfortunately, I cannot experientally comment on the subject since I've never been pregnant (and become more convinced every day that I will never be pregnant). However, I think I would agree with Mrs. Harridan. Everyone should be allowed "fat & ugly" days and days that just plain suck. They're part of life.

3:42 PM  
Blogger V-Grrrl said...

Let's put it in foodie terms for our pal:

Just because the food is great doesn't mean you like the service or the restaurant.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:07 AM  
Anonymous Lily said...

I dont know, as a mother of a zillion babies (ok, four) one thing I do know about is pregnancy, and having high risk pregnancies on top of also trying to be a student, mother, employee, all that other crap. My view on women and empowerment is that when women tell others what they "should" do or say, it is inherently belittling. It is casting them in a light of distrust or "wrongness" and I tend to think people that do that are sad, sad bitches.

Pregnancy CAN suck. It can suck ass. It can fucking suck ass. Words dont have anything to do with being unappreciative.

I stopped writing about my kids on my blog mostly because I would get these clowns that would say "you have kids, and a husband, and you are writing about a hot waiter? You curse? blah blah blah... It got tiresome to defend what we shouldnt have to defend. I am who I am, and MODELING empowerment/self determination is pretty damn important too.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Word sistah. I can add nothing that will make what you said any less perfect.

9:27 AM  

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