From the ground up
So, I live in New York City. I am accustomed to outrageous prices on parking, housing, schooling, etc. I am even coming to grips with the fact that, a couple of days ago, I actually spent $4.28 on a plain bagel with a little (and I mean a LITTLE) cream cheese and a small bag of chips.
One thing I absolutely refuse to do, however, is spend hundreds of dollars on a merely-decent maternity business suit that I will probably wear twice.
So, this being one of the two days that I probably would have worn such a suit, I have to improvise a little bit.
I am wearing a crisp button-down maternity shirt (thanks, Mom!), a crisp, unbuttoned blazer from my pre-maternity days, and a pair of neatly-tailored "slacks."
I say "slacks" because they are made out of what is euphemistically described as a poly-cotton blend, but what, in reality, is sweatpants material.
Yes. Sweatpants material. I am basically wearing sweatpants to a meeting.
And, you know what? I'm doing it PROUDLY. This morning, I took out the stinky, slightly leaky garbage bag, and cleaned 18-hour-old mushroom-fragment debris from the kitchen sink drain, for I live a real life. One just can't do these things as well in a $500 suit.
Shhhhh.....don't tell anybody. I'm thinking nobody will notice--even in New York, one can get away with a lot in a pair of black pants--and, if they do, they won't dare say anything, because that would subject them to The Wrath of the Pregnant.
I think that this is the real revolution.
One thing I absolutely refuse to do, however, is spend hundreds of dollars on a merely-decent maternity business suit that I will probably wear twice.
So, this being one of the two days that I probably would have worn such a suit, I have to improvise a little bit.
I am wearing a crisp button-down maternity shirt (thanks, Mom!), a crisp, unbuttoned blazer from my pre-maternity days, and a pair of neatly-tailored "slacks."
I say "slacks" because they are made out of what is euphemistically described as a poly-cotton blend, but what, in reality, is sweatpants material.
Yes. Sweatpants material. I am basically wearing sweatpants to a meeting.
And, you know what? I'm doing it PROUDLY. This morning, I took out the stinky, slightly leaky garbage bag, and cleaned 18-hour-old mushroom-fragment debris from the kitchen sink drain, for I live a real life. One just can't do these things as well in a $500 suit.
Shhhhh.....don't tell anybody. I'm thinking nobody will notice--even in New York, one can get away with a lot in a pair of black pants--and, if they do, they won't dare say anything, because that would subject them to The Wrath of the Pregnant.
I think that this is the real revolution.
Copyright 2005-2010 by Arabella and Trattoria Breve. All rights reserved. 9:36 AM
4 Comments:
Oh my god! I just remembered I had to wear nylon shorts to work a couple times when I was huge, AND I had to sit through a meeting in which the managers discussed a dress code banning shorts, during which everyone pointedly did not look at me once as I sat there farting and sweating...
Do you have a Target nearby? They have good, cheap pregnancy stuff. Really good, actually.
Mignon--that's where the crisp button-down maternity shirt is from. :)
Your meeting description was hilarious.
My word verification ends in "pms." Not quite, but close...
I used to work at a Motherhood Maternity Outlet. 50% off on already marked down clothes. Was I pregnant? No. Did I know anyone who was pregnant at the time? No. So I didn't ever use the discount. I should have bought a bunch of crap for the future though. I would have shared. :)
If anyone can rock the sweatpants-disguised-as-chic-urban-businesswear...it's you, Arabella. I'll bet you look fabulous.
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