Friday, January 27, 2006

The Eternal Optimist

The device to the left in the photo above is a mango cutter. It was a Christmas present from my mother, because I love mangoes and hate cutting them, even if I'm using the Martha Stewart Method.

On the lower right is a mango that I purchased, oh, about two weeks ago (the reddish one). It has been sitting in a fruit bowl on my kitchen table since then. See the overripe-mango bruise in the flesh? Also present on the flesh, although not visible due to my crappy photography skills, is glitter. Yes, glitter. Why, you ask? Because my fruit bowl doubled as a receptacle for an arrangement of decorative Christmas greenery and ornaments, of course.

Last night, I was out, and Ty was making some inordinately good dinner (portobello mushroom tortelloni with a decadent tomato-and-pancetta-based sauce) when he realized that we were out of onions. He called me and asked me to pick some up.

This is where the trouble begins.

You see, I buy my onions at our local health food store. I buy them there because I believe in the benefits of organic produce and all that, but mostly because the health food store is a bevvy of promising-looking items that a stressed-out woman will all too readily procure.

Therefore, on this trip to the health food store, I bought:

1. several pounds of organic onions;
2. a Stonyfield Farm vanilla truffle yogurt;
3. a bottle of lavender essential oil (for stress reduction during my fertility appointments, but of course I can't wear fragrances to the doctor's office, so there was absolutely no reason for me to buy this);
4. a box of chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies;
5. an organic mango (the green one on the upper right).

And I put back the Dutch waffle cookies at the last minute, because the box said something about how "Instead of the traditional caramel, we put in this healthy substitute..." and I lost interest.

Total cost? Over $21.

You know what's going to happen to the new mango, don't you?

The same thing as the old mango. It will sit there until it gets bruised and rotten, because I, who made time to create a display of decorative greenery and ornaments in our fruit bowl, do not have time to cut up a mango EVEN WHEN I OWN A TOOL EXPRESSLY DESIGNED TO MAKE IT FUN AND EASY TO CUT UP MANGOES.

On the other hand, the chocolate chip oatmeal cookies will be gone by tomorrow.

Why are we humans like this???


Blogger Tink said...

I buy bananas all the time that go to waste before I ever eat one. And all you have to do with them is peel them! *Shakes head* I don't know the reason girl. It's a mystery.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I just threw away an apple yesterday that has been sitting in plain sight in my fruit bowl, which by the way doubles as a candy dish and a chip and dip bowl. An APPLE. You don't even have to cut it or peel it. But I did manage to finish off a bag of Rosemary and olive oil potato chips. So you are not alone.

And I have two mangos in my fruit bowl currently. Weird.

I loves me some Stoneyfield yogurt. It is sooo creamy and delicious, even the non fat. LOVE.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

So what do you do... just press down on the mango and voila!* it's skinned? Amazing. Don't let the green one go to waste!

Let's make a pact: you use the green mango before it bruises, and I will go home and turn that avocado in my fridge into some lovely guacamole.


*Every time I do a fake French accent in my head, it's Kevin Kline's. "You people make my ass twitch!" (Or was that "eyes"?)

12:41 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

I have a freezer fulled of brown bananas (you can thaw them and tghen use them to make banana bread), and I just cut open 2 avocados only to find I had left them a little too long and they had rotted inside.

I ate a bag of peppercorn ranch chips in 2 days, though.

So clearly, you are not alone.

1:14 PM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

BECAUSE you, and the rest of us like you that relate to the question, are optimists. We believe that we will use these things, eat these mangoes. We may end up being wrong, and not liking that we were, but we won't stop buying them and trying. Don't ever stop buying mangoes!

2:42 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Apparently Stoneyfield and the like have better marketing and packaging departments than Mother Nature. huh.

6:30 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Chocolate trumps mango. Every. Single. Time.

7:40 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

God has a sick sense of humor!

11:33 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Just like Tink, I buy beautiful bananas with just a tinge of green still on them and let them sit in my fun, terra-cotta coloured Italian-style decorative strainer until they are ready to get up themselves and walk over to the Organics bin.

And Wordgirl said it -- chocolate trumps mango. Hey, chocolate trumps everything.

3:51 PM  

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