Thursday, December 29, 2005

An Open Letter to Denim Designers Everywhere

Dear Denim Designers,

Enough low rise!!! We don't need waistlines up to our chins, but it would be nice to go to the supermarket without seeing the buttcrack of a seventeen-year-old sexpot bending down to pick up a can of peaches in heavy syrup. Cling peaches; how appropriate. But I digress.

While we're at it, $250 is just too much money for a pair of jeans.

Sincerely,
Arabella

8 Comments:

Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

But how else would we show off that big roll of belly fat??? I've decided the belly fat MUST be sexy!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Has anyone else noticed that even if you're really skinny, that extra flesh makes you look as if you're fat? I don't mind a low rise, but I do mind a bush cut pant.
Of course the real problem is pairing the low rise jean with the crop top. Arghh!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Mr. Lashes said...

From a male point of view, whenever a man sees a girl with half of her ass hanging out of her jeans and a few rolls off to the side, one thing becomes ultimately clear. She has no self-respect and as a consequence, we shouldn't treat her with any respect. Not saying it's right...it's just what we think.

Besides, $250 is friggin expensive!

11:46 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Yes! Thank you for that public service announcement. Just because one can squeeze her enormous ass into a pair of low-rise pants does not mean that one SHOULD! Crack kills, people! Why isn't this message being spread?

Plus...unless you're built like a stick of gum, those pants only highlight the bulldog-shaped asslines as well as the babyfat/beergut effect that is only made worse by the midriff baring shirt. Women/girls dressed like this look like cows...regardless of what your friends are telling you. So stop it already. Take that $250 and hired a damned trainer.

5:35 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Did you see the Today Show this morning? Models talking about how "timeless" $250 jeans are and how they last forever and you can wear them with anything. Yes, let's take a body type that represents maybe 5% of the population and have them dictate what we should all be wearing, and then make those styles unaffordable. This is a sore subject for me!

7:03 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

Low rise jeans, especially the too tight kind should be banned. Women were not meant to look like muffin tops.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Thank you for your support! Perhaps at the B-List Blog Chicks Meetup we can get a petition going.

In addition to the "muffin top" and "back fat" effects, low rise does terrible, terrible things to wide hips, and makes everyone's legs look shorter. Why is this necessary???

My current favorite pair of jeans is at-waist and cost something like $15 at Old Navy.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I like low rise, but I hate the uber low waisted things that tarts, er, girls wear today. I have seen women and teenagers (fat and skinny alike) who I feel like I need to introduce myself to, because I have seen more of them, than I have previous sexual partners. We are talking moms at daycare. And they do not look good any anyone!

$250 bucks? That can buy a whole lot of fake bling for me and makes me feel a whole lot better.

Thank you for this service to the world!

2:12 AM  

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