Calm down

Knowing that I'm a churchgoing Catholic, and therefore an Official Spiritual Person, a friend once asked me whether I believed in the concept of soulmates--more specifically, whether I believed that there is one person out there for each of us. My answer was, no, not really. I think there are many people out there that each of us could be compatible with, and I think that a marriage that's as practical as it is romantic is more likely to succeed.

I do, however, think it's important to marry the right person. For me, one of the biggest indicators that my husband was the right person was that ours was a relationship in which the person that I was before I met him didn't get lost. How's that for a mouthful? I'll explain even further. So many of us have had relationships in which we've given things up--from little things, like our single-person routines, to big things, like our friendships, our beloved activities, or even our identities. The end of such a relationship is double-devastating; you've given up yourself for this other person, and then you lose even the other person. You're faced with the prospect of having to meet someone else, but, before you can do that, you must get your own life back on track.

With Ty, I always felt like, devastated though I'd be if our relationship ended, I would still be myself. I'd still be the same celebrity gossip-loving, bad music-listening, semicolon-overusing person. Even though I've given up some things in the course of our relationship--even some things I used to think were big things--I've either learned that they really had very little to do with who I am, or I've given them up, willingly, for our greater good.

What am I getting at? Sorry about the crappy transition--do you see what time I'm posting this? What I'm getting at is that I don't remember the date of my last post. Having children has completely changed my ability to blog. I'll admit it--I thought, briefly, about stopping, and even discussed it with C.S. And the conclusion I've come to is that writing, in any form, is very important to me, and this blog, in particular, is very much a part of who I am. I love reading my comments. I look forward to Wordgirl's newest blog designs. I get a kick out of people finding Tink's blog by Googling "arabella tits" or whatever. In describing to a friend the feeling I had after giving birth, I explained it as a feeling similar to the feeling I had after meeting up with blog friends in Savannah. I just can't give it up.

What I can do is stop focusing on my dwindling site statistics and stop apologizing for my long absences. So, even if it's been awhile since my last post, please know that, at the crack of dawn some morning, I will finish feeding my boys and lie awake, in bed, restless, thinking of writing, until I ultimately give in and post before returning to bed, bleary-eyed but happy.

As I tell my children, Mommy always comes back.